Being Grateful

Typically at the beginning of the year people go on these huge life style change goals for themselves and they want to try to achieve them whether it be quitting smoking or exercising more, eat healthier or spend more time with family. For most people the first two weeks seem like a breeze but after that 14 day mark it’s like real life sets in again and we are all back to our same old routines. You slip back to the routines that maybe one time you did not like and that is why you wanted the change in the first place, however for some people they achieve these goals and it’s a great feeling that you can do it and when you do something good it makes you feel grateful for the things that are around you and the people that are there to support you in your life.

I promised myself that at the start of this year I would make more time for things that matter the most to me and to take more time to reflect on myself and self-care. Some people don’t think that self-care is very necessary. I firmly believe that you cannot be a good wife, mother or friend if you don’t put yourself first sometimes. As women we are constantly in fast pace mode, in this fast-paced world. We cram so much into our schedules that often it can be days, weeks and sometimes months before we do something for us. By the time we get to do something for ourselves our body is completely drained. We are so overtired and you go to whatever it is you had planned but it’s hard for you to enjoy yourself because all your body wants is rest. It’s like your body is craving just to have some quiet time. It can be hard though to take that little break, whether it be no babysitter, no support at home, financial hardships that keep you from doing things that are fun and usually things that are fun are expensive. It’s so important to us to have time with family but it is also so important to spend time with friends and work on friendships that maybe you have had for years or maybe you have only had for alittle while and that’s OK. It’s so important to have that support around you and share stories with other women that maybe have gone through similar situations like you have, or for you to share your story with someone that you just met. Part of my self-care is doing something I really enjoy and it’s a weekend away with a group full of positive, inspiring women who do not judge and welcome anybody that’s there with open arms and love in their hearts. For that I am so grateful.

When people ask me what are you grateful for? Usually my response is I am grateful for everything because I firmly believe that every day since my horrible accident has been a gift. I’m grateful for everything around me and the list could go on and on and it’s usually in tough times that you forget just how lucky or happy you really are. It’s like for a sudden second you forget that you live in a warm house and have food on your table. You got dressed, you drove a car to your work, your children are safe at their school, you have money in your bank account. You opened your eyes this morning and you didn’t rely on a machine to help you breathe.

We often take things for granted around us in our life. It would be nice if we didn’t but we are human and that is just a natural thing that we do. It is really hard sometimes to just listen to someone as they tell you not to sweat the small stuff. I look back now and I have come to realize that all of that time I wasted worrying, I could have been spending it on things that I am grateful for.

I remember one really dark gloomy day when I was still a patient at the Civic Hospital. They had prepped me in the morning to sit in my wheelchair for the very first time. I was scared and I was nervous but I was also so happy to be out of that sickening bed that caused pressure sores, stiffness, sore bones and rashes. I held my breath as the two nurses transferred me into the chair and as I sat for the first time in weeks I still remember that nurse taking her cold fingers and wiping the tear off of my cheek. I never said a word to her. They wheeled me closer to the window so I could look outside. It was the gloomiest day. It was dark and it was pouring rain and I thought now why would they move me over here to look out this window. To be honest with you,it brought back nothing but horrible flashbacks and memories of the day that I crashed my car. It was the very same weather. I remember putting my head back for a little bit on the head rest and I closed my eyes and as I’m sitting there with my eyes closed I can hear the family in the room beside me sniffing. I can hear what they’re saying to their family member laying in that bed. I can hear the whimpering and sadness in their voices and I’ll never forget the words that came out of the doctor when he said “Have you decided what you want to do?” In that moment I remember opening my eyes and looking out that window and then looking down at my legs that still would not move and looking at my arms and my hands that were so full of weakness and pain and just being grateful that I was alive. In that moment I realized, I am alive and this woman beside me may not make it and I have everything to be grateful for right now.